Witty One-Liner

I enlisted in the human race. Some lost. I came in second (Couch Face).


Witty One-Liner

So we’re bored. What would you like to do?

“We could lower our heads and run into each other,” and so sporting activities was born (Couch Face)! Just kidding. I love the Olympics. They really unite people.

Original Thought

Not many people like sports in the world of Spud. There are no Olympics in the World of Spud. Instead, there are potato growing tournaments and interior decorating leagues. Also, there’s a World Martial Arts Festival, where all the super hero and villains of the universe compete, but it’s not very popular. Fox is thinking on canceling it (Couch Face).

Original Thought

“What is sin?”

“Sin is–  sin’s kinda like. .  Well, in the end it kills you.”

“What kills you? Sin?”


“So it’s a sickness. A cancer.”

“Malignant. You don’t always see it! Hidden in the ancient desires of Adam’s heart.”

“Well, Who’s Adam?”

“Why, he’s the one who authored sin in the first place. Or maybe it was Hacatan. You know him by his second name: Lucifer. Because he’s in need of some restraint.”

“Why restrain anything? Don’t you want to be free?”

“Tell me, You. What are you free of?”

“Well, restraint for one.”

“Restraint of what? City walls? So you have no walls, you have no boundaries, you have no means of keeping the germs out, and the hidden viruses that wait in every cookie, and then what? It’s a land without doctors, that’s what. It’s a land without governing officials who say, ‘Well, that’s not right, you shouldn’t have killed your dog Snoopy, Snoopy never did any harm to anyone. Snoopy was a saint.’”

“Snoopy was brilliant!”

“-and if I stole something from you, who would you be to tell me I should give it back in a land without wrongs and rights? You’d be a nobody, you’d have no power, it’d be a place of chaos and criminals and everyone would be shot! Isn’t that fun?”

“So… Restraint is freeing?”

“I’m not talking about throwing yourself into a 9-5 prison at cubicle at work. No, I’m talking about the kinda freedom a dog has when his master is kind. A nice master the dog knows will take care of him. The kinda freedom a dog has in a dog park, or an Adam in his Eden; to have all the world to play in but all the hurt outside, where a dog can sniff a tree, a butt, piss on the lawn, you name it, but nothing is wrong within these restraints and everything is right.”

She told me, “Right outside are the wrongs and the wrongs are the predators, and the predators are the big cats, the lions, the tigers, and the Tyrannasaurus kid molester, and you don’t want that.”

“Well, What do I want?” Um.

She told me, “You want a place where you can have the freedom to-  Well, there is plenty of freedom to piss on God’s lawn, it’s just so much better when the leash you wear is not heavy, it’s full of mercy*

*and is loose enough to run the whole courtyard.

“Outside are the dogs, the bad ones, and that’s a mouth of shaving cream.. That’s a bite of death. That’s the thing that kills, the thing that keeps you up at night, sweating; the thing in the dark you don’t know and you don’t want but you know it’s there, and it’s there waiting. That is sin.  It’s a–”

“-It’s a cancer?”

“Sorta like that..” (Couch Face).

Original Thought

I watched life come from an egg.
Then I wondered about life, how it began, how it was, how impossible it all seemed to have happened altogether, and deduced there was some divine purpose to it all.

“I’m White. I’m Christian. And I’m a minority,” I said. Ugh.

They say it puts a lot of pressures on you, restrictions, but looking back, it really was quite easier. The holy life is only boring if you’re dreadfully uncreative..

Am I right? Am I right?*  *I’m lonely and I’m right. L

Pessimism is your basic survival* * self-defense.

Expect the worst, and it doesn’t seem so bad. Where can you go from latrine? You’re in deep shit (Couch Face).