It is a little known fact. . Pushed around for being so small:
Most common thugs in the world of Couch Face had tommy guns and were dressed in zuit suits! They looked like they came out of the 1940’s, freshly schmucked. They were called the Days of the Week Gang, and they went Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, to the mall. Thursday never showed up.
The young boys’ mind who invented them, a telekinetic of very powerful proportions, was intentionally taught wrong by his parents*, and so turned to a life of crime by inventing all the gangsters in the tri-city area. He was a rebel.
* “cows go cluck, cluck, Oinks go moo,” for example
His mother was very disappointed in him for this** and so, sent him to his room, and there he has remained, brooding. . Keeping the villains fulla cash. Booming!
** though it was really her fault, she was ashamed of him; she never thought he’d go that far
But now he had escaped, and it was up to the superheroes to undo him! But now, gone mad, he was extra powerful. .
So the local superheroes all drew straws on the ground, and after having the local wizard turn the sandy straws into bendies, went to the local smoothie shop. Said, “Well, I’m not going in. That’s the biggest villain this side of the universe!”
“Well, I’m not going in.”
“Hey, I thought we drew straws!”
“Yeah, mine doesn’t bend. I’m really upset about that. Wizard!”
Said Merlin, “Yes, my liege.”
“Bend my straw.”
“*Ouch!* -Not that one!” Oh, c’mon, I thought it was funny. . Mildly.
“Joking, joking!” said the Merlin and then got them all to business. “I have conjured you all here today to say that that kid must be stopped- we haven’t decided on his name yet. He doesn’t have a real cool super villain name yet. We thought Little Nicki, but that’s been used, and Damian too! so how bout Billy?- no, that won’t do either. How bout Dead? You’d all want to see him Dead now, won’t you?”
“Yes, the name thing’s all very confusing, but whatever you call him, Dead must be killed!”
“Yes, kill Dead!”
“Down with Dead!”
“We could just ask him what his real name is..”
“The kid doesn’t have a name. He’s just — the Boy with No Name. See, his parents were afraid to name him at birth after he disagreed with all their other names, using his psychic powers to torment them.”
“I don’t buy that.”
Hey, Can you believe all these unseen voices talking right now are just two people?- Manly Man and the Wizard?
“Don’t be stupid. We are very popular! Look at all those people staring at us,” and drawing straws, Manly Man was definitely the longest so he was decided to go off! on the Quest to Kill Dead.
Some oddballs joined them later.
“Yes, Dead must die!” The name thing had caught on, however lame it was.
“Who’re you?” said Manly.
“We of the League of Evil Villains also want to see Dead killed, you wanna know why? Because he won’t join our super group after oodles of invitations, and this insults us!” There they were. The entire League of Villains, their brains ‘undulating, postulating- forming schemes.’
“Look: if you’re all off to kill your own member-”
“Not a member!”
“-leave me out of it,” and Manly Man went home. He was hurt from having his man thing compared to a straw and needed a good tantrum nap; so the villains took it on from here. In fact, you won’t see another hero in this story, and that’s all we’ll see of Manly. “That’s not even a fair comparison!” he wants you to know. Oh, c’mon. I thought it was mildly amusing (Couch Face).